The Idea Of Being In Love

For the longest time now, I think I’m in love with the idea of being in love.

It’s an idea created through the fairy tales at first, then the romcoms and all the mushy songs. There is never any denying that I have always romanticised everything. Whether it’s the weather or a special conversation, there are some things that always try to enforce the idea of being in love.

So I thought of penning down a few thoughts about love that cross my mind often.

Yes, love is important. There will always be people who will deny it and the importance of it, but believe me, they are probably the people who crave for it the most. I recently read a fantastic book called the “The Palace of Illusions” by Chitra Devakaruni where the author wrote that a person will always crave most for what he has not received in his childhood. Somehow, I couldn’t agree more. So don’t trust people when they say love is a waste of time and energy. It never is.

People mess up. People change. I am probably the worst when it comes to letting go, but I have learnt that giving it time is the key. From holding on too tightly, there will definitely come a time when letting go won’t hurt as much as you imagine it will. Forgive. That’s extremely important.

I have also realised that it’s somehow more tempting to fall for men who seem dark and exciting. My friends have told me this a million times, but it’s the mystery about the “wrong” men that probably draws you to them. Believe me, a few drunken encounters and 3 a.m. conversations, you’ll know that every single person has a story to tell. You just need to give them the time and space. The “wrong” guys just know how to work the charm and present the story in ways that will get you excited. That is it.

Growing up, and particularly college will broaden your minds. I have learnt to never judge people. No matter what their choices in life are, there is always some reason behind them. Accept and understand.

Love is strange. Very strange. I always thought it was easy to put down labels on each relationship of mine. Best friend, acquaintance, crush or something else. I learnt, that there can also be relationships you cannot label. Those which you cannot put a tag on. People will probably not understand, and they don’t need to. You aren’t answerable to them. Let it remain undefined, as long as you are happy. These people will be very special and sometimes, not defining it is beautiful in its own way.

Everyone needs to experience heartbreak at least once. I think there’s much to learn from it. Pain is never bad. Crib about it, cry your heart out, stay indoors and curse the hormones. But if you never feel the sadness how will you ever know what happiness feels like? It is only after a heartbreak that you can fall in love again. The next time around, you’ll value things more. You’ll learn to trust again.

In a milder way, the above is true about fights too. Forgive and forget. You’ll somehow become closer to the person if both of you manage to do that. Letting go because of petty issues is not acceptable.

The idea of what you want from a guy will change over the years. From stupid criteria framed when you were 16 with the girlfriends, respect and kindness will come into the picture. Fall for a guy who never trivialises it, when you cry. Who isn’t ever too busy to ask you how your day was. Who will not crib if you want to dropped home on certain days. Who is proud of being with you and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Who you’re comfortable with.

Lastly, I know this post is more of a rant, but I just needed to write it all down. There is no harm in being in love with the idea of being in love. It is painful, crazy and beautiful all at the same time, I tell you.

k2
As the sky turned golden. Picture clicked by my father, Saikat Bhadra.
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19 thoughts on “The Idea Of Being In Love

  1. Rupsha,
    The very first sentence captivated me and the rest flowed on through the floodgates. I’m not disregarding your writing prowess, but I have to say – truth doesn’t always come with jewelled eloquence. This article was truth, and I connected very, very well to it (yes, even if I am supposedly a crazy cat lady). You write well, of course, but you also write soulfully, which made me appreciate it more.

    Sincerely,
    Maybe a bird of the same feather.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Madhura. Coming from someone like you, whose writing prowess I’ve always admired, this really means a lot. I don’t usually write unless its an issue which is close to my heart.
      Thank you again. 🙂

      Like

  2. For starters, I thought you have a thing or two for (tall) dark (and handsome) men LOL. Jokes apart, I think most of us at some point in time, have been strongly “influenced” by something that is different, something that is out-of-the–box…and of course some-“ONE” with widely contrasting traits…primarily because that gives you a chance to explore your real self, and to get a stranglehold of yourself thereafter. That is quite a defining moment I feel, people do commit mistakes in their lives…I feel mistakes happen for a reason. Yes, there’s light peeping through the darkness.

    I won’t say that it’s love…I would say it’s a strong affinity, one shouldn’t blame themselves at all. I personally loved this post because there’s a lot of heart in it. Keep writing.

    Regards
    Sammya
    http://www.deckleedge.info/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I happen to be 5’7″. Tall is a prerequisite and handsome is the cherry on the cake, so why not? 😉
      And I agree with the bit about exploring. But as I said, there’s a very fine line between affinity, love and obsession.
      Thank you so much.
      I’m glad you liked it.

      Like

  3. Hey, I don’t know you and this is the 1st time I’m reading anything you wrote. Me and my best friend were having a conversation about something similar to this a few days back. Actually, she was telling how she always ends up friend-zoning the good guy and falls for the bad guy. To be very honest, it was a drunken conversation so when I read this I was sucked into it immediately. I sent her the link immediately after reading this and I’m sure she’ll have a very similar view. This is an amazing piece of work, it was a lovely read. I’m definitely looking forward to reading more of your ‘hearty notes’ as few others have said before me. Lastly, I would want to thank you for this. I’ll definitely ask my other friends to read it. Kudos, ciao! 🙂

    Like

  4. I have felt for a very,very long time that I have mostly been in love with the concept of love.And yes,that part,there are relationships you really can’t label.That’s weird,odd and very confusing.But I really hope that I can broaden my horizons in future.

    Post Script – I am 16 and a half years old.

    Like

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