The Idea Of Being In Love

For the longest time now, I think I’m in love with the idea of being in love.

It’s an idea created through the fairy tales at first, then the romcoms and all the mushy songs. There is never any denying that I have always romanticised everything. Whether it’s the weather or a special conversation, there are some things that always try to enforce the idea of being in love.

So I thought of penning down a few thoughts about love that cross my mind often.

Yes, love is important. There will always be people who will deny it and the importance of it, but believe me, they are probably the people who crave for it the most. I recently read a fantastic book called the “The Palace of Illusions” by Chitra Devakaruni where the author wrote that a person will always crave most for what he has not received in his childhood. Somehow, I couldn’t agree more. So don’t trust people when they say love is a waste of time and energy. It never is.

People mess up. People change. I am probably the worst when it comes to letting go, but I have learnt that giving it time is the key. From holding on too tightly, there will definitely come a time when letting go won’t hurt as much as you imagine it will. Forgive. That’s extremely important.

I have also realised that it’s somehow more tempting to fall for men who seem dark and exciting. My friends have told me this a million times, but it’s the mystery about the “wrong” men that probably draws you to them. Believe me, a few drunken encounters and 3 a.m. conversations, you’ll know that every single person has a story to tell. You just need to give them the time and space. The “wrong” guys just know how to work the charm and present the story in ways that will get you excited. That is it.

Growing up, and particularly college will broaden your minds. I have learnt to never judge people. No matter what their choices in life are, there is always some reason behind them. Accept and understand.

Love is strange. Very strange. I always thought it was easy to put down labels on each relationship of mine. Best friend, acquaintance, crush or something else. I learnt, that there can also be relationships you cannot label. Those which you cannot put a tag on. People will probably not understand, and they don’t need to. You aren’t answerable to them. Let it remain undefined, as long as you are happy. These people will be very special and sometimes, not defining it is beautiful in its own way.

Everyone needs to experience heartbreak at least once. I think there’s much to learn from it. Pain is never bad. Crib about it, cry your heart out, stay indoors and curse the hormones. But if you never feel the sadness how will you ever know what happiness feels like? It is only after a heartbreak that you can fall in love again. The next time around, you’ll value things more. You’ll learn to trust again.

In a milder way, the above is true about fights too. Forgive and forget. You’ll somehow become closer to the person if both of you manage to do that. Letting go because of petty issues is not acceptable.

The idea of what you want from a guy will change over the years. From stupid criteria framed when you were 16 with the girlfriends, respect and kindness will come into the picture. Fall for a guy who never trivialises it, when you cry. Who isn’t ever too busy to ask you how your day was. Who will not crib if you want to dropped home on certain days. Who is proud of being with you and wants to be with you as much as you want to be with him. Who you’re comfortable with.

Lastly, I know this post is more of a rant, but I just needed to write it all down. There is no harm in being in love with the idea of being in love. It is painful, crazy and beautiful all at the same time, I tell you.

As the sky turned golden. Picture clicked by my father, Saikat Bhadra.